taskmaster
id | series | episode | task | speaker | roots | quote | studio |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2 | ["shit"] | And the winner of this competition will have to take all of that shit home. | 1 |
5 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ["shit"] | I've got an image of you at an all-you-can-eat buffet just kicking the shit out of everything. | 1 |
10 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 2 | ["shit"] | The top three are absolutely shit. | 1 |
14 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 2 | ["hell"] | Alex, what the hell are we gonna do about this? | 1 |
21 | 1 | 2 | 8 | 2 | ["Christ","shit"] | I mean, Jesus Christ, I thought you'd only stood catatonic with a shit sign for ten minutes. | 1 |
22 | 1 | 2 | 8 | 2 | ["Christ"] | Jesus Christ! | 1 |
23 | 1 | 2 | 9 | 2 | ["Christ"] | Oh, Jesus Christ. | 1 |
24 | 1 | 2 | 9 | 2 | ["fuck"] | It's not the fucking X-Files. | 1 |
26 | 1 | 2 | 9 | 2 | ["fuck"] | We've just seen a film of you breaching the fucking pie! | 1 |
34 | 1 | 3 | 12 | 2 | ["shit"] | I like to give people a chance to justify their decisions, but I will say this: it's shit, go on. | 1 |
35 | 1 | 3 | 12 | 2 | ["shit"] | Now I feel like a total shit. | 1 |
36 | 1 | 3 | 12 | 2 | ["fuck"] | I went, "Good luck, everyone. Boop!" to Romesh and he went, "What the fuck was that?" | 1 |
38 | 1 | 3 | 12 | 2 | ["fuck"] | He won't speak to you 'cause you didn't read his fucking book. | 1 |
42 | 1 | 3 | 14 | 2 | ["hell"] | He seemed to cover a hell of a distance, didn't he? | 1 |
43 | 1 | 3 | 14 | 2 | ["fuck"] | It's a really good painting, but why on earth do I want a picture of you? It's absolutely fucking preposterous. | 1 |
45 | 1 | 3 | 15 | 2 | ["bastard"] | And the main use of them, of course, is I'll be able to see if there's any of those bastard pregnant women behind me. | 1 |
46 | 1 | 3 | 15 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Is it real? Fuck me! | 1 |
52 | 1 | 3 | 16 | 2 | ["shit"] | I'm amazed I give a shit. | 1 |
54 | 1 | 4 | 19 | 2 | ["tits"] | Looks like a badger that's sniffing its tits, doesn't it? | 1 |
58 | 1 | 4 | 21 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Sadly for you, I am a child who's in charge of this fucking show. | 1 |
77 | 1 | 4 | 26 | 2 | ["wank"] | I don't think he'd respond to "the Wank Plank". | 1 |
78 | 1 | 5 | 27 | 2 | ["hell"] | £600 is a hell of a start though, isn't it? | 1 |
79 | 1 | 5 | 27 | 2 | ["hell"] | Nearly four grand. It's a hell of an opener. | 1 |
80 | 1 | 5 | 27 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Well, that's you well and truly fucked then, isn't it? | 1 |
84 | 1 | 5 | 28 | 2 | ["piss"] | How long did you piss around with those balloons? | 1 |
88 | 1 | 5 | 31 | 2 | ["shit"] | And a cheap, shit ring. | 1 |
89 | 1 | 6 | 33 | 2 | ["shit"] | Yes, please, Greg. That's why we came, to see you shit yourself. | 1 |
94 | 1 | 6 | 34 | 2 | ["shit"] | It sounds like even professional golf players are shit at golf. | 1 |
115 | 2 | 7 | 40 | 2 | ["shit"] | How long did the shit Dalek take? | 1 |
121 | 2 | 7 | 41 | 2 | ["ass/arse"] | The only thing you managed to establish was that he didn't have an opinion on arse-licking. | 1 |
129 | 2 | 8 | 45 | 2 | ["fuck"] | It's no more disturbing than seeing a peanut fucked up by a train, though, is it? | 1 |
132 | 2 | 8 | 45 | 2 | ["shit"] | Ah, Joe. It's gonna be shit, innit, mate? | 1 |
133 | 2 | 8 | 46 | 2 | ["shit"] | If I'd have just seen the picture, I'd have said it was shit, but up close it's incredible. | 1 |
134 | 2 | 8 | 47 | 2 | ["dick"] | Like she's the dick in this scenario. | 1 |
137 | 2 | 9 | 49 | 2 | ["fuck"] | If I am attending, I'm gonna be fucking awesome at that party. | 1 |
140 | 2 | 9 | 50 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Jugglers, we don't give a fuck about you. | 1 |
143 | 2 | 9 | 51 | 2 | ["shit"] | I mean, I recognise that as a load of shit loosely thrown together. | 1 |
144 | 2 | 9 | 52 | 2 | ["shit"] | I just don't like that sort of novelty bullshit, but you pulled it back with the sweets. | 1 |
145 | 2 | 9 | 52 | 2 | ["shit"] | Yeah, but it makes me look like a shit, dunnit? | 1 |
156 | 2 | 10 | 56 | 2 | ["dick"] | Why did he call you a dick? | 1 |
158 | 2 | 10 | 56 | 2 | ["shit"] | You are calling the cat a ginger piece of shit? | 1 |
162 | 2 | 10 | 56 | 2 | ["dick"] | Not as bad as calling you a dick, though, is it? | 1 |
170 | 2 | 10 | 57 | 2 | ["ass/arse"] | So that was the strategy, yeah? Arse, crotch. Bish, bash, bosh. Done. | 1 |
179 | 2 | 10 | 59 | 2 | ["shit"] | In the first second you said everything was horse shit. | 1 |
182 | 2 | 10 | 59 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Well, I mean, honestly don't know what the fuck was going on there. | 1 |
183 | 2 | 10 | 59 | 2 | ["shit"] | Do you want me to pass judgment on this shit? | 1 |
185 | 2 | 11 | 61 | 2 | ["shit"] | It looks like a shitty milk-bottle top. | 1 |
186 | 2 | 11 | 61 | 2 | ["fuck"] | In third place, I'm putting Jon's Roman coin, just 'cause they're worth fuck-all. | 1 |
187 | 2 | 11 | 61 | 2 | ["fuck"] | If you think that women are more important than Jocky Wilson, you fucking come to me. | 1 |
189 | 2 | 11 | 62 | 2 | ["prick"] | Bam! I get the job done as quickly as possible, even when some prick takes the wheels off the shopping trolley. | 1 |
195 | 2 | 11 | 64 | 2 | ["fuck"] | You got to the P-O and thought, "Fuck it. Pony, right?" | 1 |
201 | 2 | 11 | 65 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Alright, well, fuck it then. | 1 |
202 | 3 | 12 | 67 | 2 | ["shit"] | I did ask Alex if he could make sure there was a lot of goose shit on the track. | 1 |
204 | 3 | 12 | 67 | 2 | ["shit"] | I don't know why drinking a massive coffee and then rolling around in goose shit would make you feel sick. | 1 |
205 | 3 | 12 | 67 | 2 | ["fuck"] | When is a step not a step? When it's on a fucking hurdle. | 1 |
207 | 3 | 12 | 68 | 2 | ["shit"] | In first place, with an incredible shitty, sicky performance, it's Rob the Roller. | 1 |
211 | 3 | 12 | 69 | 2 | ["bastard"] | Right at the end, just as the final image of a snowman was in place, he said, "The bastard's crying, innit?" | 1 |
212 | 3 | 12 | 69 | 2 | ["bastard"] | Let's have a look at the bastard. | 1 |
213 | 3 | 13 | 71 | 2 | ["shit"] | It would have been nice if you could have taken some time to scrub that bird shit off it. | 1 |
214 | 3 | 13 | 71 | 2 | ["fuck"] | I'm putting Paul Chowdhry for putting some fucking melon in a box. | 1 |
220 | 3 | 13 | 73 | 2 | ["dick"] | Three great minds... or a trio of dickheads. | 1 |
225 | 3 | 13 | 75 | 2 | ["bastard"] | And nice to see you're consistent with your use of the word "bastard" as well. | 1 |
226 | 3 | 13 | 75 | 2 | ["bastard"] | Last episode, you called a rabbit covered in a Slush Puppie a bastard. | 1 |
230 | 3 | 14 | 77 | 2 | ["shit"] | I mean, that would scare the shit out of me. | 1 |
231 | 3 | 14 | 77 | 2 | ["piss"] | He's not gonna help me do an accurate piss in the middle of the night, though, is he? | 1 |
232 | 3 | 14 | 78 | 2 | ["ass/arse"] | From his arse? | 1 |
238 | 3 | 14 | 80 | 2 | ["Christ"] | Oh, Christ. I've no idea. | 1 |
242 | 3 | 15 | 84 | 2 | ["fuck"] | What did you think were the chances of that plane flying with your fucking sock wrapped round it? | 1 |
243 | 3 | 15 | 88 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Are you joking? I fucking love him. | 1 |
245 | 3 | 16 | 2 | ["shit"] | I mean, that is the shittest prize yet. | 1 | |
246 | 3 | 16 | 89 | 2 | ["prick"] | Pebbles looks like a bit of a prick to me. | 1 |
251 | 3 | 16 | 90 | 2 | ["fuck"] | "Yo yo, the motherfuckin' FIP." | 1 |
257 | 3 | 16 | 92 | 2 | ["shit"] | The point is, you did a genuinely good film and I honestly thought it was gonna be horse shit, so well done. | 1 |
261 | 4 | 17 | 95 | 2 | ["shit"] | It was like someone choreographing a ballet and then coming out onto the stage afterwards and having a shit. | 1 |
262 | 4 | 17 | 95 | 2 | ["fuck"] | That is drawing a line under your Bake Off career. "You want me to destroy a cake? Fuck you, cake. I'm off." | 1 |
263 | 4 | 17 | 95 | 2 | ["shit"] | Hashtag tough shit! | 1 |
264 | 4 | 17 | 96 | 2 | ["fuck"] | I don't need to judge who's fucking last! | 1 |
267 | 4 | 17 | 98 | 2 | ["fuck"] | I did not in my wildest fantasies think antone else would choose fucking tweezers! | 1 |
269 | 4 | 18 | 99 | 2 | ["fuck"] | You shut your fucking mouths! I will put him last! I mean that. | 1 |
271 | 4 | 18 | 101 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Lolly, your system was absolute fucking madness. | 1 |
276 | 4 | 18 | 102 | 2 | ["fuck"] | And then in the end, fuck it, fill a funnel full. | 1 |
277 | 4 | 18 | 104 | 2 | ["Christ"] | Jesus Christ! | 1 |
278 | 4 | 19 | 105 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Get off the fucking bus! | 1 |
280 | 4 | 19 | 105 | 2 | ["shit"] | Yeah, all shit. | 1 |
285 | 4 | 19 | 108 | 2 | ["prick"] | Some dogs are pricks. | 1 |
287 | 4 | 19 | 108 | 2 | ["Christ"] | Jesus Christ! | 1 |
288 | 4 | 19 | 108 | 2 | ["prick","prick"] | It's not fair. I mean, that dog was a prick, Joe was right. But chickens, across the board, are pricks. | 1 |
290 | 4 | 19 | 109 | 2 | ["fuck"] | It's not point-worthy, so... fuckin' leave it. | 1 |
291 | 4 | 19 | 109 | 2 | ["shit"] | You wanna see how to move water from one fishbowl to another, you go to Joe Lycett, okay, and you don't listen to bullshit. | 1 |
295 | 4 | 20 | 112 | 2 | ["shit"] | Everything he's brought in has been universally judged to be shit. | 1 |
300 | 4 | 20 | 113 | 2 | ["fuck"] | He was dropping a plumb line for absolute accuracy, Which is what all dads do before they totally miss the fucking bucket. | 1 |
301 | 4 | 20 | 114 | 2 | ["shit"] | However, on this occasion, horseshit. | 1 |
302 | 4 | 20 | 116 | 2 | ["dick"] | The sadness inherent within that story was slightly diluted by the weird... dick-cone horse. | 1 |
303 | 4 | 20 | 116 | 2 | ["shit"] | That is some pretty Las Vegas shit. | 1 |
306 | 4 | 21 | 118 | 2 | ["shit"] | Sorry, don't give a shit about the peas in the pod. | 1 |
307 | 4 | 21 | 118 | 2 | ["fuck"] | They can fucking deal with it. | 1 |
310 | 4 | 21 | 121 | 2 | ["piss"] | And then he just stood there, pissing water into a bath while Rome burned. | 1 |
311 | 4 | 21 | 122 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Even though he got it into a small hole, it was fucking rubbish. | 1 |
312 | 4 | 21 | 123 | 2 | ["fuck"] | Say what you want about Alex Horne, he's on pauses like a fucking puma. | 1 |
313 | 4 | 22 | 125 | 2 | ["fuck"] | They're not an endangered species, they're fucking everywhere. | 1 |
316 | 4 | 22 | 126 | 2 | ["fuck"] | And then you started to get cross and you said, "Get fucking through, Stu!" | 1 |