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id ▲ series episode task speaker roots quote studio
3 Series 1 1 Melon buffet. 1 The most unusual item 1 Greg Davies 2 shit And the winner of this competition will have to take all of that shit home. ✓
5 Series 1 1 Melon buffet. 1 Eat as much watermelon as possible 2 Greg Davies 2 shit I've got an image of you at an all-you-can-eat buffet just kicking the shit out of everything. ✓
10 Series 1 1 Melon buffet. 1 Paint a horse while riding a horse 3 Greg Davies 2 shit The top three are absolutely shit. ✓
14 Series 1 1 Melon buffet. 1 Find Alex 6 Greg Davies 2 hell Alex, what the hell are we gonna do about this? ✓
21 Series 1 1 The pie whisperer. 2 High-five a 55-year-old 8 Greg Davies 2 Christ
shit
I mean, Jesus Christ, I thought you'd only stood catatonic with a shit sign for ten minutes. ✓
22 Series 1 1 The pie whisperer. 2 High-five a 55-year-old 8 Greg Davies 2 Christ Jesus Christ! ✓
23 Series 1 1 The pie whisperer. 2 Identify the contents of the pies 9 Greg Davies 2 Christ Oh, Jesus Christ. ✓
24 Series 1 1 The pie whisperer. 2 Identify the contents of the pies 9 Greg Davies 2 fuck It's not the fucking X-Files. ✓
26 Series 1 1 The pie whisperer. 2 Identify the contents of the pies 9 Greg Davies 2 fuck We've just seen a film of you breaching the fucking pie! ✓
34 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 The most meaningful item 12 Greg Davies 2 shit I like to give people a chance to justify their decisions, but I will say this: it's shit, go on. ✓
35 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 The most meaningful item 12 Greg Davies 2 shit Now I feel like a total shit. ✓
36 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 The most meaningful item 12 Greg Davies 2 fuck I went, "Good luck, everyone. Boop!" to Romesh and he went, "What the fuck was that?" ✓
38 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 The most meaningful item 12 Greg Davies 2 fuck He won't speak to you 'cause you didn't read his fucking book. ✓
42 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 Draw an image using a GPS device 14 Greg Davies 2 hell He seemed to cover a hell of a distance, didn't he? ✓
43 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 Draw an image using a GPS device 14 Greg Davies 2 fuck It's a really good painting, but why on earth do I want a picture of you? It's absolutely fucking preposterous. ✓
45 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 Buy a gift for the Taskmaster 15 Greg Davies 2 bastard And the main use of them, of course, is I'll be able to see if there's any of those bastard pregnant women behind me. ✓
46 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 Buy a gift for the Taskmaster 15 Greg Davies 2 fuck Is it real? Fuck me! ✓
52 Series 1 1 The poet and the egg. 3 Get an egg as high as possible 16 Greg Davies 2 shit I'm amazed I give a shit. ✓
54 Series 1 1 Down an octave. 4 The most beautiful item 19 Greg Davies 2 tits Looks like a badger that's sniffing its tits, doesn't it? ✓
58 Series 1 1 Down an octave. 4 Count the baked beans 21 Greg Davies 2 fuck Sadly for you, I am a child who's in charge of this fucking show. ✓
77 Series 1 1 Down an octave. 4 Memorise an Australian Rules Football team 26 Greg Davies 2 wank I don't think he'd respond to "the Wank Plank". ✓
78 Series 1 1 Little denim shorts. 5 The most valuable item 27 Greg Davies 2 hell £600 is a hell of a start though, isn't it? ✓
79 Series 1 1 Little denim shorts. 5 The most valuable item 27 Greg Davies 2 hell Nearly four grand. It's a hell of an opener. ✓
80 Series 1 1 Little denim shorts. 5 The most valuable item 27 Greg Davies 2 fuck Well, that's you well and truly fucked then, isn't it? ✓
84 Series 1 1 Little denim shorts. 5 Move the boulder as far as possible 28 Greg Davies 2 piss How long did you piss around with those balloons? ✓
88 Series 1 1 Little denim shorts. 5 Make a Swedish person blush 31 Greg Davies 2 shit And a cheap, shit ring. ✓
89 Series 1 1 The last supper. 6 The most satisfying item 33 Greg Davies 2 shit Yes, please, Greg. That's why we came, to see you shit yourself. ✓
94 Series 1 1 The last supper. 6 Play mini golf with eggs 34 Greg Davies 2 shit It sounds like even professional golf players are shit at golf. ✓
115 Series 2 2 Fear of failure. 7 Get the potato into the hole 40 Greg Davies 2 shit How long did the shit Dalek take? ✓
121 Series 2 2 Fear of failure. 7 Find out about the Swedish person 41 Greg Davies 2 ass/arse The only thing you managed to establish was that he didn't have an opinion on arse-licking. ✓
129 Series 2 2 Pork is a sausage. 8 Create a nursery rhyme video 45 Greg Davies 2 fuck It's no more disturbing than seeing a peanut fucked up by a train, though, is it? ✓
132 Series 2 2 Pork is a sausage. 8 Create a nursery rhyme video 45 Greg Davies 2 shit Ah, Joe. It's gonna be shit, innit, mate? ✓
133 Series 2 2 Pork is a sausage. 8 A photo of an object that looks like you 46 Greg Davies 2 shit If I'd have just seen the picture, I'd have said it was shit, but up close it's incredible. ✓
134 Series 2 2 Pork is a sausage. 8 Order a pizza without using certain words 47 Greg Davies 2 dick Like she's the dick in this scenario. ✓
137 Series 2 2 A pistachio eclair. 9 The best dinner party guest 49 Greg Davies 2 fuck If I am attending, I'm gonna be fucking awesome at that party. ✓
140 Series 2 2 A pistachio eclair. 9 Impress the Mayor 50 Greg Davies 2 fuck Jugglers, we don't give a fuck about you. ✓
143 Series 2 2 A pistachio eclair. 9 Make an unexpected silhouette 51 Greg Davies 2 shit I mean, I recognise that as a load of shit loosely thrown together. ✓
144 Series 2 2 A pistachio eclair. 9 Buy a gift for the Taskmaster 52 Greg Davies 2 shit I just don't like that sort of novelty bullshit, but you pulled it back with the sweets. ✓
145 Series 2 2 A pistachio eclair. 9 Buy a gift for the Taskmaster 52 Greg Davies 2 shit Yeah, but it makes me look like a shit, dunnit? ✓
156 Series 2 2 Welcome to Rico Face. 10 Rescue Patatas from the tree 56 Greg Davies 2 dick Why did he call you a dick? ✓
158 Series 2 2 Welcome to Rico Face. 10 Rescue Patatas from the tree 56 Greg Davies 2 shit You are calling the cat a ginger piece of shit? ✓
162 Series 2 2 Welcome to Rico Face. 10 Rescue Patatas from the tree 56 Greg Davies 2 dick Not as bad as calling you a dick, though, is it? ✓
170 Series 2 2 Welcome to Rico Face. 10 Conceal a pineapple on your person 57 Greg Davies 2 ass/arse So that was the strategy, yeah? Arse, crotch. Bish, bash, bosh. Done. ✓
179 Series 2 2 Welcome to Rico Face. 10 Construct something for the Taskmaster 59 Greg Davies 2 shit In the first second you said everything was horse shit. ✓
182 Series 2 2 Welcome to Rico Face. 10 Construct something for the Taskmaster 59 Greg Davies 2 fuck Well, I mean, honestly don't know what the fuck was going on there. ✓
183 Series 2 2 Welcome to Rico Face. 10 Construct something for the Taskmaster 59 Greg Davies 2 shit Do you want me to pass judgment on this shit? ✓
185 Series 2 2 There's strength in arches. 11 The best piece of memorabilia 61 Greg Davies 2 shit It looks like a shitty milk-bottle top. ✓
186 Series 2 2 There's strength in arches. 11 The best piece of memorabilia 61 Greg Davies 2 fuck In third place, I'm putting Jon's Roman coin, just 'cause they're worth fuck-all. ✓
187 Series 2 2 There's strength in arches. 11 The best piece of memorabilia 61 Greg Davies 2 fuck If you think that women are more important than Jocky Wilson, you fucking come to me. ✓
189 Series 2 2 There's strength in arches. 11 Move items across a stream 62 Greg Davies 2 prick Bam! I get the job done as quickly as possible, even when some prick takes the wheels off the shopping trolley. ✓
195 Series 2 2 There's strength in arches. 11 Build a bridge for the potato 64 Greg Davies 2 fuck You got to the P-O and thought, "Fuck it. Pony, right?" ✓
201 Series 2 2 There's strength in arches. 11 Put on gloves, eat a banana, put on a tie, and clap 65 Greg Davies 2 fuck Alright, well, fuck it then. ✓
202 Series 3 3 A pea in a haystack. 12 Reach the microwave in the fewest steps 67 Greg Davies 2 shit I did ask Alex if he could make sure there was a lot of goose shit on the track. ✓
204 Series 3 3 A pea in a haystack. 12 Reach the microwave in the fewest steps 67 Greg Davies 2 shit I don't know why drinking a massive coffee and then rolling around in goose shit would make you feel sick. ✓
205 Series 3 3 A pea in a haystack. 12 Reach the microwave in the fewest steps 67 Greg Davies 2 fuck When is a step not a step? When it's on a fucking hurdle. ✓
207 Series 3 3 A pea in a haystack. 12 Propel a pea along a red carpet 68 Greg Davies 2 shit In first place, with an incredible shitty, sicky performance, it's Rob the Roller. ✓
211 Series 3 3 A pea in a haystack. 12 Make the best snowman 69 Greg Davies 2 bastard Right at the end, just as the final image of a snowman was in place, he said, "The bastard's crying, innit?" ✓
212 Series 3 3 A pea in a haystack. 12 Make the best snowman 69 Greg Davies 2 bastard Let's have a look at the bastard. ✓
213 Series 3 3 The dong and the gong. 13 The heaviest shoebox-sized item 71 Greg Davies 2 shit It would have been nice if you could have taken some time to scrub that bird shit off it. ✓
214 Series 3 3 The dong and the gong. 13 The heaviest shoebox-sized item 71 Greg Davies 2 fuck I'm putting Paul Chowdhry for putting some fucking melon in a box. ✓
220 Series 3 3 The dong and the gong. 13 Release Alex 73 Greg Davies 2 dick Three great minds... or a trio of dickheads. ✓
225 Series 3 3 The dong and the gong. 13 Burst all of the balloons 75 Greg Davies 2 bastard And nice to see you're consistent with your use of the word "bastard" as well. ✓
226 Series 3 3 The dong and the gong. 13 Burst all of the balloons 75 Greg Davies 2 bastard Last episode, you called a rabbit covered in a Slush Puppie a bastard. ✓
230 Series 3 3 Little polythene grief cave. 14 The best battery-operated item 77 Greg Davies 2 shit I mean, that would scare the shit out of me. ✓
231 Series 3 3 Little polythene grief cave. 14 The best battery-operated item 77 Greg Davies 2 piss He's not gonna help me do an accurate piss in the middle of the night, though, is he? ✓
232 Series 3 3 Little polythene grief cave. 14 Fill an eggcup with sweat 78 Greg Davies 2 ass/arse From his arse? ✓
238 Series 3 3 Little polythene grief cave. 14 Buy a gift for the Taskmaster 80 Greg Davies 2 Christ Oh, Christ. I've no idea. ✓
242 Series 3 3 A very nuanced character. 15 Spread your clothes far and wide 84 Greg Davies 2 fuck What did you think were the chances of that plane flying with your fucking sock wrapped round it? ✓
243 Series 3 3 A very nuanced character. 15 Have fun on a bouncy castle 88 Greg Davies 2 fuck Are you joking? I fucking love him. ✓
245 Series 3 3 The F.I.P. 16   Greg Davies 2 shit I mean, that is the shittest prize yet. ✓
246 Series 3 3 The F.I.P. 16 The most handsome relative 89 Greg Davies 2 prick Pebbles looks like a bit of a prick to me. ✓
251 Series 3 3 The F.I.P. 16 Move water from one bucket to another 90 Greg Davies 2 fuck "Yo yo, the motherfuckin' FIP." ✓
257 Series 3 3 The F.I.P. 16 Create an impressive time-lapse or slow motion film 92 Greg Davies 2 shit The point is, you did a genuinely good film and I honestly thought it was gonna be horse shit, so well done. ✓
261 Series 4 4 A fat bald white man. 17 Beautifully destroy a cake 95 Greg Davies 2 shit It was like someone choreographing a ballet and then coming out onto the stage afterwards and having a shit. ✓
262 Series 4 4 A fat bald white man. 17 Beautifully destroy a cake 95 Greg Davies 2 fuck That is drawing a line under your Bake Off career. "You want me to destroy a cake? Fuck you, cake. I'm off." ✓
263 Series 4 4 A fat bald white man. 17 Beautifully destroy a cake 95 Greg Davies 2 shit Hashtag tough shit! ✓
264 Series 4 4 A fat bald white man. 17 Draw a blind portrait 96 Greg Davies 2 fuck I don't need to judge who's fucking last! ✓
267 Series 4 4 A fat bald white man. 17 Make the most fruit juice 98 Greg Davies 2 fuck I did not in my wildest fantasies think antone else would choose fucking tweezers! ✓
269 Series 4 4 Look at me. 18 The most boastful item 99 Greg Davies 2 fuck You shut your fucking mouths! I will put him last! I mean that. ✓
271 Series 4 4 Look at me. 18 Paint a portrait of the Taskmaster without touching the red mat 101 Greg Davies 2 fuck Lolly, your system was absolute fucking madness. ✓
276 Series 4 4 Look at me. 18 Get the flour onto the target 102 Greg Davies 2 fuck And then in the end, fuck it, fill a funnel full. ✓
277 Series 4 4 Look at me. 18 Make the longest balloon chain 104 Greg Davies 2 Christ Jesus Christ! ✓
278 Series 4 4 Hollowing out a baguette. 19 The best subscription 105 Greg Davies 2 fuck Get off the fucking bus! ✓
280 Series 4 4 Hollowing out a baguette. 19 The best subscription 105 Greg Davies 2 shit Yeah, all shit. ✓
285 Series 4 4 Hollowing out a baguette. 19 Persuade three animals to stand on the mat 108 Greg Davies 2 prick Some dogs are pricks. ✓
287 Series 4 4 Hollowing out a baguette. 19 Persuade three animals to stand on the mat 108 Greg Davies 2 Christ Jesus Christ! ✓
288 Series 4 4 Hollowing out a baguette. 19 Persuade three animals to stand on the mat 108 Greg Davies 2 prick
prick
It's not fair. I mean, that dog was a prick, Joe was right. But chickens, across the board, are pricks. ✓
290 Series 4 4 Hollowing out a baguette. 19 Transfer water from one fishbowl to another 109 Greg Davies 2 fuck It's not point-worthy, so... fuckin' leave it. ✓
291 Series 4 4 Hollowing out a baguette. 19 Transfer water from one fishbowl to another 109 Greg Davies 2 shit You wanna see how to move water from one fishbowl to another, you go to Joe Lycett, okay, and you don't listen to bullshit. ✓
295 Series 4 4 Friendship is truth. 20 The most surprising picture of yourself 112 Greg Davies 2 shit Everything he's brought in has been universally judged to be shit. ✓
300 Series 4 4 Friendship is truth. 20 Make the highest splash 113 Greg Davies 2 fuck He was dropping a plumb line for absolute accuracy, Which is what all dads do before they totally miss the fucking bucket. ✓
301 Series 4 4 Friendship is truth. 20 Ringtone choreography 114 Greg Davies 2 shit However, on this occasion, horseshit. ✓
302 Series 4 4 Friendship is truth. 20 Do something incredible with a pommel horse 116 Greg Davies 2 dick The sadness inherent within that story was slightly diluted by the weird... dick-cone horse. ✓
303 Series 4 4 Friendship is truth. 20 Do something incredible with a pommel horse 116 Greg Davies 2 shit That is some pretty Las Vegas shit. ✓
306 Series 4 4 Meat. 21 The cutest thing 118 Greg Davies 2 shit Sorry, don't give a shit about the peas in the pod. ✓
307 Series 4 4 Meat. 21 The cutest thing 118 Greg Davies 2 fuck They can fucking deal with it. ✓
310 Series 4 4 Meat. 21 Do incompatible things with the bathtub 121 Greg Davies 2 piss And then he just stood there, pissing water into a bath while Rome burned. ✓
311 Series 4 4 Meat. 21 Throw something into something 122 Greg Davies 2 fuck Even though he got it into a small hole, it was fucking rubbish. ✓
312 Series 4 4 Meat. 21 Make the longest continuous noise 123 Greg Davies 2 fuck Say what you want about Alex Horne, he's on pauses like a fucking puma. ✓
313 Series 4 4 Spatchcock it. 22 The best sheep-related item 125 Greg Davies 2 fuck They're not an endangered species, they're fucking everywhere. ✓

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CREATE TABLE profanity (
   id      INTEGER PRIMARY KEY,
   series  INTEGER REFERENCES series(id),
   episode INTEGER REFERENCES episodes(id),
   task    INTEGER REFERENCES tasks(id),
   speaker INTEGER REFERENCES people(id),
   roots   TEXT,
   quote   TEXT,
   studio  INTEGER
);
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