TdlM / taskmaster

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169 rows where series = 9

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id ▲ series episode task speaker roots quote studio
969 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 The most stressful thing 379 David Baddiel 48 shit It’s stressful when you’ve had a big shit. ✓
970 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Hide three aubergines from Alex 380 Katy Wix 51 fuck Oh, for fuck’s sake.
971 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Hide three aubergines from Alex 380 Greg Davies 2 fuck Then, half an aubergine in, you went, "Oh, fuck this, they’re going in my pants." ✓
972 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 Ed Gamble 49 Christ Oh, Christ.
973 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 Jo Brand 50 fuck
ass/arse
Oh, fuck it, I’m going to accuse this of being a dodo 'cause I can't be arsed to go any further.
974 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 David Baddiel 48 bollock Oh, bollocks.
975 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck Fuck that. That’s lavender. That's violet.
976 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 David Baddiel 48 fuck That just tastes of... what the fuck is that?
977 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck Fuck. Off.
978 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 David Baddiel 48 shit Do they all taste of shit?
979 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck Fuck off!
980 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Arrange the lollies in rainbow order 381 Greg Davies 2 shit Sounds like absolute horseshit to me. ✓
981 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Make the most dramatic entrance 382 Greg Davies 2 shit I wasn't expecting the bush woman; it scared the shit out of me. ✓
982 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Draw the second longest snake 383 David Baddiel 48 fuck Oh, have I fucked this up? ✓
983 Series 9 9 Join our cult. 65 Draw the second longest snake 383 Jo Brand 50 fuck I’ve finished me fucking snake! ✓
984 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66   Greg Davies 2 ass/arse And to my left, a man who Tina Turner once described as simply the best. And, in a separate conversation, as a complete arsehole. ✓
985 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 The best bag 384 Greg Davies 2 shit Yeah but that's not the bag, the bag was shit. ✓
986 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Identify which bin Alex is in 385 Rose Matafeo 52 damn Damn it.
987 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Identify which bin Alex is in 385 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck Fuck.
988 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Draw a portrait of the Taskmaster across a flipchart 386 David Baddiel 48 bollock Is this going to be some kind of Sudoku-style bollocks?
989 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Draw a portrait of the Taskmaster across a flipchart 386 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck Three's gotta be upside down. This is a mind-fuck, actually.
990 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Draw a portrait of the Taskmaster across a flipchart 386 Katy Wix 51 shit This is gonna look absolutely dogshit.
991 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Draw a portrait of the Taskmaster across a flipchart 386 David Baddiel 48 bollock Tiny bit of bollock.
992 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Draw a portrait of the Taskmaster across a flipchart 386 Greg Davies 2 shit That is some kind of Sudoku bullshit. ✓
993 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Draw a portrait of the Taskmaster across a flipchart 386 Alex Horne 1 bollock And he says normal person but just below the lip, right in the middle, that's a little bit of bollock. ✓
994 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Draw a portrait of the Taskmaster across a flipchart 386 Ed Gamble 49 fuck David, why the fuck are you talking now?! ✓
995 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Say the word ‘demeaning’ 387 Jo Brand 50 shit Guantanamo Bay. Oh, G, sorry. Shit.
996 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Say the word ‘demeaning’ 387 Greg Davies 2 fuck We're essentially watching The Real Marigold Hotel up there, when you've stopped for a fucking sandwich! ✓
997 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Say the word ‘demeaning’ 387 Jo Brand 50 fuck It told us to make a fucking sandwich. ✓
998 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Say the word ‘demeaning’ 387 Jo Brand 50 fuck I did know we were doing it against the clock and I didn't give a fuck! ✓
999 Series 9 9 Butter in the microwave. 66 Arrange the playdough balls / Do the correct things with the balls 388 Ed Gamble 49 fuck Oh, you motherfucker. ✓
1000 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 The weirdest wooden thing 389 Greg Davies 2 shit It's absolutely shit, well done. ✓
1001 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 The weirdest wooden thing 389 Greg Davies 2 shit It's absolutely shit, Ivor! ✓
1002 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 The weirdest wooden thing 389 David Baddiel 48 shit It's so shit. ✓
1003 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 The weirdest wooden thing 389 Alex Horne 1 dick The stick and the dick? ✓
1004 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 The weirdest wooden thing 389 Greg Davies 2 dick The stick and the dick. ✓
1005 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 The weirdest wooden thing 389 Greg Davies 2 dick As so often in life I do, I'm gonna put dick in second place. ✓
1006 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Surprise memory test 390 Ed Gamble 49 fuck
hell
Oh, fucking hell.
1007 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Surprise memory test 390 Greg Davies 2 fuck And Jo simply couldn't give a fuck. ✓
1008 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Surprise memory test 390 Rose Matafeo 52 ass/arse Whaaa! No, I'm such a dumbass.
1009 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Build a robust statue of a delicate thing 391 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck Oh no, it's on the fucking thing.
1010 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Build a robust statue of a delicate thing 391 Rose Matafeo 52 damn No! I nailed it to the damn table!
1011 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Build a robust statue of a delicate thing 391 Greg Davies 2 fuck Rose, what the fuck was your thing? ✓
1012 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Score a goal with a steamroller 392 Katy Wix 51 fuck I had a fucking horrible time on it. ✓
1013 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Break something and put it back together 393 Katy Wix 51 fuck Fuck. How'd that go?
1014 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Break something and put it back together 393 Ed Gamble 49 ass/arse Why have you done it like this, Ed, you absolute arsehole.
1015 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Break something and put it back together 393 Greg Davies 2 fuck Okay, I don't know where to fucking start here. ✓
1016 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Break something and put it back together 393 Jo Brand 50 fuck
fuck
Yeah, and didn't fucking eat it. Just got on with it, like a quiet, nerdy fuckwit. ✓
1017 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Break something and put it back together 393 Greg Davies 2 Christ Jesus Christ. ✓
1018 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Break something and put it back together 393 David Baddiel 48 ass/arse
ass/arse
It just says Broad Arse now. Do you want a Broad Arse Award?
1019 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Break something and put it back together 393 Rose Matafeo 52 shit What do you mean? Oh, shit.
1020 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Fill a glass with water 394 David Baddiel 48 piss Can I piss in it? ✓
1021 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Fill a glass with water 394 Greg Davies 2 piss That wouldn't be water, David, would it? It would be piss. ✓
1022 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Fill a glass with water 394 David Baddiel 48 shit Shit! ✓
1023 Series 9 9 Five miles per day. 67 Fill a glass with water 394 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck Whaaa! That was fucking sand! ✓
1024 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 The best thing to celebrate with on stage 395 Greg Davies 2 fuck Why am I opening a fucking library all of a sudden? ✓
1025 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Make the most striking water feature 396 David Baddiel 48 shit Shit.
1026 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Bring a classic board game to life 397 Ed Gamble 49 fuck I've got three sensitivity levels. And I'll be honest, I'm on my top fucking one right now! ✓
1027 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Fill a tray with things beginning with a letter you chose 398 David Baddiel 48 bollock That was a mistake, wasn't it? Bollocks.
1028 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Fill a tray with things beginning with a letter you chose 398 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck It's a tube, fuck.
1029 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Fill a tray with things beginning with a letter you chose 398 Greg Davies 2 ass/arse Drink receptacles, my sweet ass. ✓
1030 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Fill a tray with things beginning with a letter you chose 398 Ed Gamble 49 fuck Fuck it, I call 'em cups. ✓
1031 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Throw objects, but not too far 399 Ed Gamble 49 shit Absolute bullshit. ✓
1032 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Throw objects, but not too far 399 Rose Matafeo 52 damn Ughhh, God damn it. ✓
1033 Series 9 9 Quisps. 68 Throw objects, but not too far 399 Greg Davies 2 shit Could not be shitter. ✓
1034 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 The best defunct thing 400 Greg Davies 2 piss Yeah, because I like my sweeties with a thin coating of multiple layers of piss. ✓
1035 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 The best defunct thing 400 David Baddiel 48 piss Who's pissing in the pick 'n' mix in your house? ✓
1036 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 The best defunct thing 400 Greg Davies 2 piss They did a test, didn't they, on mints. There was 400 types of piss on the mint. ✓
1037 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 The best defunct thing 400 Ed Gamble 49 piss I didn't know there were that many types of piss. ✓
1038 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Lasso Alex 401 Katy Wix 51 shit Or do you, like, do this? That was a shit laugh.
1039 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Lasso Alex 401 Rose Matafeo 52 damn God damn it.
1040 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Lasso Alex 401 Ed Gamble 49 shit Turns out I am shit at lasso. Don't look at your watch!
1041 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Make an accurate and inventive egg timer 402 David Baddiel 48 bollock Oh bollocks, right, that's alright, that's alright.
1042 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Make an accurate and inventive egg timer 402 David Baddiel 48 fuck Oh, fuck!
1043 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Make an accurate and inventive egg timer 402 David Baddiel 48 bollock Bollocks.
1044 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Make an accurate and inventive egg timer 402 David Baddiel 48 fuck Well, that's not very nice, I didn't fucking torture you. ✓
1045 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Make an accurate and inventive egg timer 402 Rose Matafeo 52 shit Oh, it's Taskmaster, shit.
1046 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Get to know a person who alternately tells the truth, lies, and brags 403 Gareth the Magician hell I didn't, but I've learned a hell of a lot more in life than I would've ever learned at university.
1047 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Get to know a person who alternately tells the truth, lies, and brags 403 Greg Davies 2 fuck I thought I was gonna come here and someone was gonna ask me if I'd ever been to fucking Penge. ✓
1048 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Get to know a person who alternately tells the truth, lies, and brags 403 Ed Gamble 49 fuck You didn't have a system because you just walked in, didn't give a fuck, and then left again! ✓
1049 Series 9 9 Another spoon. 69 Build a tower behind you using a mirror and litter pickers 404 Ed Gamble 49 fuck Fuck you, Matafeo! ✓
1050 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 The thing you’d be most pleased to find in a field 405 David Baddiel 48 fuck You know why, because I fucking hate fields. ✓
1051 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Make a body part abnormally long 406 David Baddiel 48 cock I'm just gonna say the words 'my cock', and move on.
1052 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Make a body part abnormally long 406 Alex Horne 1 cock I wanna find out if he went cock or not. ✓
1053 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Make a body part abnormally long 406 Katherine Ryan 11 cock
cock
Love that your first thought was cock, you made a cock, and at the last second put it on your head. ✓
1054 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Make a body part abnormally long 406 Alex Horne 1 bollock
bollock
You did say at the time, the wig was the dog's bollocks. You kept saying "the wig's the dog's bollocks". ✓
1055 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Push a watermelon up a slide using breadsticks 407 Jo Brand 50 bollock Bollocks, Alex. ✓
1056 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Slide drinks to the Taskmaster 409 Jo Brand 50 fuck Well, fuck off. ✓
1057 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Slide drinks to the Taskmaster 409 Greg Davies 2 Christ Jesus Christ. ✓
1058 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Slide drinks to the Taskmaster 409 David Baddiel 48 piss Stop taking the piss. ✓
1059 Series 9 9 Bready bready bready. 70 Slide drinks to the Taskmaster 409 Rose Matafeo 52 fuck
shit
Fuck! Shit! ✓
1060 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 David Baddiel 48 shit I didn't even need a shit. ✓
1061 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 David Baddiel 48 ass/arse I believe there used to be, like, Henry VIII used to have a bloke who actually wiped his arse for him. ✓
1062 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 Alex Horne 1 ass/arse Uhh, Henry VIII had a person who wiped his arse for him, yes, yes. ✓
1063 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 Katy Wix 51 shit I'll show you where she keeps it, she keeps it in the shittest room in the whole house. ✓
1064 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 Ed Gamble 49 shit Yeah, but it looks like she wouldn't give a shit. ✓
1065 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 Greg Davies 2 Christ Jesus Christ. ✓
1066 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 Jo Brand 50 fuck Oh, fuck it, I wish it was. ✓
1067 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 The best thing taken from someone else’s house 410 Greg Davies 2 shit I find this incredible, that I'm giving five points to a piece of shit roll. ✓
1068 Series 9 9 A cuddle. 71 Throw eggs into metal receptacles 411 Ed Gamble 49 fuck
shit
Are you fucking shitting me?

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CREATE TABLE profanity (
   id      INTEGER PRIMARY KEY,
   series  INTEGER REFERENCES series(id),
   episode INTEGER REFERENCES episodes(id),
   task    INTEGER REFERENCES tasks(id),
   speaker INTEGER REFERENCES people(id),
   roots   TEXT,
   quote   TEXT,
   studio  INTEGER
);
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